SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
The beginning had pretty bad pacing. With starting the film at the end, the audience receives voice over dialogue at why Zac Efron's character, Jason, is sitting on a park bench in the middle of the night, freezing his ass off. The story decides to go back about six months before, to show how Jason got there. The beginning sequence is unnecessary, because the audience forgets about it in a heartbeat. Just start with the next scene where Jason is strategically working around not breaking this random girl's heart. It's a scene grabber and keeps the audiences attention focused on the undertones of the story.
|If a coffee bowl doesn't win a girl over, then I don't know what will.|
The film is also stacked with filler shots of busy New York, very short sex sequences, or unneeded comedic moments. The comedy should focus more around the story of Jason, Daniel, and Mikey instead of filler scenes. Unfortunately, if the film makers took out all these scenes, the film would be about 20 minutes shorter.
2. Film it in Seattle
While this is more a personal change, it would make a lot more sense. 80% of the scenes contained someone drinking coffee or in a coffee shop. The main characters always hang out around coffee shops or cool indie bars. Sure, the script had the story set in New York City (Gramercy Park is a major player in the film). Wouldn't this story be a hundred times better if it was in Seattle? The coffee sequences would be.
|Starring: Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, and Coffee.|
It's surprising that this script was part of the best un-produced scripts a few years ago. The dialogue given to the characters made some moments awkward and some unwanted. The dialogue also contrasted with certain character actions and character qualities. Jason and Daniel were the worst in means of dialogue contrasting with their characters. Jason would always act a certain way and then say the complete opposite of how he acted. It was noticeable that it wasn't intentional for the character to be so drastically different between his words and actions. Suggestion: Rewrite a few scenes where the problem's the worst and add more coffee.
4. Screw It! The Coffee
What's up with all the coffee scenes? Is Tom Gormican trying to tell the audience that all important conversations happen around characters drinking coffee? Or, does Gormican not know how to write a scene without coffee in it? Is coffee his muse? Mind blown! This film has more coffee scenes than I have square feet in my apartment (1,100 sq. feet for any of you who need to know).
|This film was funded by coffee companies|
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