September 21, 2012

Resident Evil: Retribution - Movie Review

    How do you bring back all the characters that you tried to love in all the other Resident Evil films and place them in one film that feels just like a video game? You create Resident Evil: Retribution.

   Before I get into this review, I will say that I was never a fan of the Resident Evil film franchise. I enjoyed the first because it tried, but then I lowered all expectations for the others. I still go into the theater with a clean slate and try to see why people by tickets for these films and then I found out why. I believe that everyone who buys tickets for these films are teenage boys taking a girl to a scary movie, couples who want to do it in the back of the theater, and film reviewers like me who spend the money and watch the film only to find out later that it was a waste of perfectly good cash that could have been spent going down to Los Angeles and watching The Master instead.

     Right off the bat, you will either like this film or hate it. And, this is not a film to go straight into without watching the other films. If you didn't like the last, this one won't change your mind. It starts off right where the last one left us. With a battle on a ship and airships coming down and 3D headaches happening. Then, everyone gets Inceptioned. Alice is living in this perfect world, we discover that someone is messing with her dreams and since someone is messing with her dreams, the subconcious kicks in. The subconcious being zombies. Yeah, in her dreams she is attacked by zombies. You can't get away from them. Then she wakes up, we meet Albert Wesker who apparently didn't die in the last film (I thought he died). We get Ada Wong, we get almost all the characters we saw in the last films.

    The reason why this movie sucks, apart from the other hundred reasons, is because it forces too much to happen. Out of the blue we get Leon Kennedy, Barry Burton, and Luther West. These three guys are minor characters in Paul Anderson shithole of a cinematic world. Why make them minor characters when two of them are critical characters in a larger universe.

    And the enemies in this film are just disastrous. It feels like over the course of a few films, Paul Anderson decided to bring together characters and enemies that took Resident Evil 15 years to bring together. The games have a massive amount of time to them, while the films have about an hour and a half each.

    And also, this film is a video game. All the characters are going through levels, fighting boss fights, and surviving to go onto the next. None of it makes sense, with some enemies being supposed good guys. All the doubles in this film. Everything in this film seems like a really bad Resident Evil v. All the Enemies from the Games. That is how it is. Like Mortal Kombat v. DC Universe, or Capcom v. Marvel, this is a game where characters from all of Resident Evil versus Zombies from Resident Evil. It just, sucks.

F